Happy Anniversary Aaron and Sherri

It was 2 years ago this coming Monday that Aaron and Sherri were married. I will never forget the look that Aaron had on his face when Sherri walked down the aisle... pride, joy, awe, excitement, responsibility... it was really really wonderful to see.

I have loved Sherri since I met her. In fact, when they had just started dating... Aaron told me he could envision Sherri and I being friends even if their dating relationship didn't last. He was right ... I love Sherri. I love the way she loves my brother AND my family. I love that she is the perfect wife for Aaron and that God gave them to each other at just the right time... and since I never had a sister, now I have the next closest thing!!!

I'm so excited for my brother and his wife as they celebrate their anniversary this weekend!!! Praying for all their dreams to keep coming true as they hold them open handed to God.

Seasonal Change

The season is changing
it's felt in the air
in the clouds sky and leaves
everywhere

Time has a pattern
the tick of the clock
it resonates in every step
that we walk

A season is changing
from diner to shore
from rivers and creeks
to a now open door

Expectations of summer
the temperatures past
float down with the leaves
who's color won't last

It doesn't quite matter
how much we prepare
for the change of the season
the weight of the air

All seasons keep changing
for thats what they do
bringing life, bringing death
while cycling through

The passing of time
from minute to day
reminds us that seasons
were not meant to stay

Better Late? Late Better?

I was sitting here thinking about how I'm doing a lot of my most summer-y fun stuff here at the end of the summer. (and thinking I sure wish I had time to play hookie this week). I almost started grumbling and getting sad about it. But you know, I have savored the past couple of weekends. I played in the waves and strolled the boardwalk last weekend like a child (literally was told by my friends that I looked like a little kid in the waves). I swam around in the lake yesterday with my friends children, dove off the dock, drank sangria and delicious blackberry wheat ale, clung to the tube for dear life and had chill, summer fun. I wonder if the water felt more refreshing, the sangria sweeter and the conversations more meaningful because they were extra special? I think maybe. So. I'm going to be glad for those few special summer moments had and the ones still to come the next couple of weeks as I look ahead to Autumn and it's crisp, cool wonderfulness!

***i did have a lot of other fun summer moments... but I LOVE the water so I was mostly referring to the lack of days on the water that I realized I missed. :)

Our message at church this past week by Chris Weber inspired me to write this:

My life’s not up and to the right
In fact most times I’m wrong
To walk a mile in my shoes
To you, may not seem long
An hour can be forever
A year feel like a breath
Each step we take does bring us
One day closer towards our death
Though I am not discouraged
In fact I walk with joy
Though troubles come and life can suck
I never am destroyed
I’m carried through each trial
There’s light down paths I fear
With whispers of forever
Always spoken in my ear
The friend who sees my turmoil
The one who reprimands
Is that same friend who walked it first
In fact He understands
My life’s not up and to the right
Nor neither was my Lords
Who walked this road and paid a price
I never could afford.

Signals

Is it the nose that itches or the eye that twitches
I get confused between the two
Is it you that is thinking of someone
or they who are thinking of you

When my palms get sweaty should I get ready
For good things to come my way
Is the anticipation part of the equation
Allowing the good thing to stay?

The energy, tension, the change of direction
The guessing, the wondering the doubt
The process of knowing, and learning and growing
While trying to reason this out.

Worlds colliding
Intersecting
Ribboned memories
Projecting
Thoughts from your minds movie
Scenes from seas to city streets

You who were
Is someone else
He who was
Is not the same

Life’s like a revolving door
You can’t go back the way you came

Time is breaking
Hearts escaping
Moments, Memories
In the making
Thoughts from your minds movie
Scenes from home to yonder town

What was once important
Is now a fleeting thought
Yesterday’s a day behind
Today is now, tomorrow’s not.

"Getting My Crap Together"

I'm fairly careful with my language ... well, for the most part. I realized this weekend how often I use the word "crap". It became sort of a joke; but I thought... hm, there are far better words I could be using. More descriptive. Funnier. Less that refer to bodily functions. Crap...I don't want to be a potty mouth.

A Song?

Loving You (I picture this being a song building with intensity)

If I could be in charge of just one thing
And it was up to me to choose
My choice would be to love you
To love you. To love you.

If I had one purpose one sure duty
Just one thing for me to do
I’d live my life to love you
Just Love you. Just love you.

I was made for this
I was made for this
I was made for this
I was made for this

I want to be found perfecting What it’s like to give myself to you
I will drop what I am doing just to give to give to give to you.

Perfect this love
Perfect this kiss
This is my purpose
This is my wish.

I was made for this
I was made for this
I was made for this

Flip Flops and Heels... Or... I'm Too Sexy for These Shoes

Yes. I’m writing a blog about shoes… well sort of.

I was thinking about shoes. I LOVE my flip - flops and sandals… I live in them over the summer and probably inappropriately during the other seasons of the year. I like that they are easy. They are comfortable. Don’t require much thought. Easy to take off and put on. Are always there when I want them (usually by my bed or my door). I don’t mind if they get a little dirty/messed up because they are cool with that. They are wonderful.

What about heels? Ok, I am not super dressy, but this girl likes a sexy pair of heels with the right little dress. J They are usually treated with extra care. Exciting. Noticed. Mostly worn with a planned out outfit. I like them. Guys do too. (I think I’ve heard they were designed by men because of how they make women’s legs look. It’s true, they do make our legs look extra great.)

I’ve tried to classify myself… am I a flip-flop or a high heel? You know what? I’m not picking! What’s wonderful about being a woman? You can wear both. You can own both… You can BE both a flip - flop and a strappy heel. You can wear a skirt with flip - flops or a pair of jeans with stilletos. Whichever I wear… I’m just gonna rock em… or just kick them off and have happy, sexy, naked feet.

Event Relationships

One of the things about music festivals that I most look forward to is seeing those people that are like family that I get to do these events with. I was thinking about it last night... it is wonderful and yet terrible. There are people that I look forward to seeing all year and then only get to have maybe one (possibly) decent conversation and then a bunch of quick hello's as we bump into each other on our way to our next task. There's still comradery just in that; but for me it's hard. I also have acquired some sort of festival A.D.D. where I can't stay in one place or have one conversation for very long before I have to DO something... so it's just nuts. Even if I'm sequestered in an office for the most part of the festival... I still feel antsy and have trouble concentrating on conversations.

I wonder what to do with that? Facebook is good for keeping tabs on each other, but yeah... I'd love to be able to keep in GOOD touch with everyone. Unfortunately I realize it's just not realistic. Heck, my brother commented the other day on how long it has taken to find a free night to have dinner together...

So, it's a good problem... having the opportunity to meet and get to know so many amazing people... just hard to know how to properly invest into everyone. Plus I'm not much of a small talker... I'd rather TALK then just talk... know what I mean?

Pleasure?

I've heard myself use the words "guilty pleasure" a lot lately... in reference to a song, movie, reality show, drink... or some such... whatever. AKA... soft serve ice cream cones from McDonalds... 1.05 with tax, low in calorie... mmm... guilty pleasure.

But I don't really find much pleasure in guilt (nor do I want to)... and don't usually ACTUALLY feel guilty. Soooo maybe I need to come up with some other phrases for those things like:

• I feel sheepish that I "X"
  
• I know I'm ridiculous but I ...
  
• I admit it... I know all the lyrics to
• I shamelessly...
  
• I like to "X". Guilty as charged... (is using guilty in this way the same, hm?)
  

Or...uh, over analyze much? Perhaps.

Noticing

I have this one neighbor ... huge family that we (my roommate and I) have lovingly dubbed the Russian mafia just because of all the people coming and goingsin their house... and they are Russian.

The man of the house is usually outside smoking, puttering around and watching the goings on of the neighborhood. Very nice... has helped me shovel out before, etc. The other day I was coming home from somewhere and he communicated to me (he doesn't speak much english) that he had noticed I was sick... but that I look better... and had a concerned look on his face...kind of miming that I was weakly stumbling around and then kind of showed he was glad I was better. wow. I was touched... Today as I was rushing out the door to my car, I was thinking about that and hoping if the shoe was on the other foot that I would have taken the time to notice and to say something, too.

in other amazing news

I will be using my passport in September.

never alone

Life has been insane lately... I think most of the people that read this blog know that I've had some crazy health stuff going on that threw me for a loop the last few weeks... so I won't re-hash it all right now... we're all probably tired of those details. I know I am.

However, I do not tire of saying how freaking, amazing, wonderful and a plethora of other adjectives and adverbs my friends and family are. I am surrounded by love. I know that it all flows through my God... and through the people that are in my life. As alone as I felt when I was sick and confused at why... as much as I cried out "God, what am I supposed to do?"...I also had that inner knowing that I was cared for and carried.

I like this pic of the person being carried away by balloons...it also reminds me of "UP" which I watched with my brother in the hospital... and I will never forget that, for many reasons. Including the huge super cool card he made me and the way he has been so so good to his big sister.

consolation

According to the Mary Kay lady, I have droopy eyes. Consolation: the nice way of saying that is "Bedroom Eyes".

I feel a little like this today

Doing New Things

Life has been a whirlwind lately... I do a pretty decent job of keeping my calendar full just about to the point of ridiculousness with all the stuff on it... but I do have to say I'm excited about the way life has been lately... I've gotten to do a lot of new things... like backpacking/biking camping, learning some home improvement stuff while helping Chris and Melody with the new house... and tomorrow is my first 5 mile race. What am I thinking... aaaah. A little nervous, but have made it my motto lately not to say I can't do anything.

I'm also wondering about some of the new things I'm doing... gee couldn't being able to rough it, knowing how to do some basic construction, and getting into shape be beneficial for me when I take that missions trip I'm GOING to take. Not sure what to do next with that whole scenario. I feel like I've put it out there to one of the key people that I wanted to, so now I need to figure out what's next, and wait, and pray... we shall see.

Why do I ignore my anchor
Floating round my destiny
Acting like I’m compassless
Equipped yet lost at sea

I threw my anchor deep today
It found the rocky ground
My support is sure and strong
I won’t be tossed around

Tension and Counter Balance

Last night I was at York Swing Dance Club’s monthly blues lesson/clinic. Blues dancing, like most dance, relies heavily on connection and chemistry. To even begin to get there, tension and counter balance are key. I’ve been taking lessons for a little while in this specific dance and some of the areas I struggle with are being patient (not assuming I know where the lead is trying to take me), keeping the tension (keeping my hold firm and “sitting into” the position), and reading the leads tension to give back the same counterbalance. The stretch/tension is actually the best part but sometimes we/I want to rush past it to find the next part of the move…

As I was laying in bed falling asleep last night; I started thinking about how much these lessons can be taken into other aspects of life and how I struggle with similar things there, too. Just like in dance, there’s always more to learn in order to really fully experience every beat of life.

Conflict and Direction

I just returned from "An Evening with Donald Miller". It was a totally different "lecture" than the last time I saw him. The last time was more story telling/fireside chat...This one was more academic... being held at Messiah, he catered in that student/teacher/scholarly direction. Very thought provoking... but again touching on the issues of our lives as stories with conflict. That being a Christian doesn't remove the conflict from the story. That God doesn't "control" us on purpose because love is not controlling. He Shepherds us, but doesn't desire to control us...per se. He gives us our lives with a big piece of burlap paper to color on... Our lives are all about relationship with him. Many many many good and challenging things.

I'm left thinking about my story again. i'm excited that I'm out living it. I'm excited that God gives us all these amazing things to do with Him and yes, sometimes He very clearly lets us know that we should turn left... and sometimes He hands us a map and says, where do you long to go? What do you long to do? I want to go with you.