it's beginning to look a lot like

Yeah, I know Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet. And I have not broken out any of my Christmas paraphanalia yet, but my heart is heading in that direction. This morning there were flurries, which was extremely exciting and beautiful. I listened to some James Taylor Christmas with Melody and today the Rosie Thomas song "Why Can't It Be Christmastime All Year". Fun. I still am waiting for decorating until after Thanksgiving... which is soon.

I have some gift ideas in mind...we'll see... this year I don't feel as alone in the low fundage scenario... I think just about everyone is cutting back. I think it lends to more creative gifting so that could be fun, actually. Some time spent gifts, perhaps.

I'm going to be 34 soon. Weird. WEEIIRRDDD. There is a lot that I still can't believe hasn't happened yet in my life, and some things that I am shocked HAVE happened. Life is unpredictable that's for sure.

I had a conversation last night about goals that got me thinking... about what things are within my power and what aren't. About what measurable success is. Still chewing on this, and might have more to share on it later.

and Closer...

I was thinking about the title/url to my blog... closer-to-fine. I came up with that as my title years ago. Certainly, I don't equate my life to the lyrics of the song with the same title... at all. (though musically I love "the girls") But I do feel like life's a journey and hopefully I am always getting closer to the Truth in it and closer to loving myself and God the way I should. (I know that God has done big things in that area already, but know there's a long way to go!!!)

Today after I chose the picture I'm using for my blog of me as a little 4th grader in Cape Cod... I was thinking about the "become like a child" verse. It says "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." I also found this verse in Phillipians. " Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe "

Although I am, in fact, quite child-like in many ways...as my friends can attest to. I have a lot farther... or closer to go. And, we are not naturally that way... we have to "change and become" like children.

...and I love the phrase "Shine like stars in the universe". How beautiful is that?

Life As a Blank Sheet

Last night I led discussion at small group and we talked about surrender... one of the analogies I found when planning was that if we were to have a contract with God it should be a blank sheet of paper where we sign on the bottom and allow him to fill in the details as we go along. I know I've had times in my life where I said... ok, God I give you A, B, and C but this seems different. SO much more all encompassing. The other thing I keep learning is that I have to DAILY surrender... actually moment by moment. Lately, I've been struggling with my thoughts and being defeated by them and I HAVE GOT TO take them captive one by one and hand them over.

I'm pretty excited about the weekend ahead. Tonight I am going to lay low with some girl friends and watch movies, eat crap and just veg. I haven't done that in a LONG time. The rest of the weekend is pretty open... in fact besides my time at the House of Prayer and church I am free... so hopefully some R &R, time outdoors, or housework... we'll see.

I'm excited... the Gateway House of Prayer has been open 24/7 for a while now, but we are 1 hr away from being staffed 24/7, too... this means anytime somebody goes in they will never be alone there. I think that's pretty exciting. Where two or more are gathered... and God is worthy of 24/7 praise! (and our world needs people praying round the clock, too).