Thursday, April 07, 2011

A Bad Dream

I've been having some stress related dreams lately... and not getting the best nights of sleep.

Last night I had 2 nightmare-ish dreams. One between midnight and 3:00 am, the other after 4:00 am. The first one I can't remember very well. The second one is very vivid.

I was parking my car on my block in the city. A car pulled up trying to park and I noticed that the space in front of me wasn't big enough so I backed up and motioned for them to come in. Then 3 guys jumped out of their car and into mine... basically attacking me. The one sat on top of me. Somehow I was in the passenger seat... dreams are weird. Anyway, they were being really mean and awful and the one guy said he has had to listen to me and my friends laughter outside of his apartment for too long and he's not going to take it anymore. The next thing I remember was being out of the car on the street and somehow either pushing or punching the one guy so hard he smashed his head on the sidewalk... and died. I don't know what happened to the other guys and don't remember much of the rest of the dream.

When I woke up this morning, the first thought that came to me was I am not going to let anybody steal my joy.

Monday, April 04, 2011

If I could fly

I posted a question on my facebook last night asking "if you had a plane and access to go anywhere where would you go and what would be your motivation?". This came from my thoughts yesterday about wanting to be in so many places.

I wanted to be home in VT with my family.

I wanted to be in North Carolina with my friend Karen.

I wanted to be in Ethiopia visiting Senait, visiting my friend Yoseph and encouraging some of the Compassion staff there. Learning more about the beautiful people and culture.

My motivation: seeing people I love

When I have the chance for vacation, I almost always go home to VT... even though there are places within a half days drive from here like Washington DC that I haven't been yet and really do want to tour ... I am so much more motivated to be with the people I love that it's not even really an option. While I'm home, I don't do much besides spend time with my family and key friends.

There are places in the world that I want to go and see like Ireland, Australia, Kenya, etc... but I know I'd be inclined to go back to Ethiopia first ... because my heart is already there with the people.

I'm going to Haiti in October. I've been motivated to go there since before the earthquake... I wanted to go visit/help my friends who live there. Then after the earthquake felt a longing to go and knew there was so much to be done and I am a willing candidate. I know, too, that once I go my motivation will go past my friends and their family into others that I meet. I'm quite sure I'll leave some of my heart there, too and find many more people to love.

As much as my motivation to go places is based on love and people... I need to also be motivated by obedience to God. Which, really, obedience goes hand in hand with love ... and will help me not to miss loving more amazing people across the street or across the globe.