Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Faith
I think I emailed most of you who read this about my consultation with the surgeon today. If not, let me know and I"ll fill you in. So in a month from now I will be back in the hospital to have part or all of my thyroid removed because of precancerous stuff. However, I believe that God heals. So I am believing that God is going to heal me and I'll get in there and the Dr will open me up to find nothing, no nodules, no Cancer. Praise Jesus. Except this is a tricky thing, to be honest about. I know that God loves me and can heal and does heal. I trust that. However, when it comes right down to it I don't expect Him to. Mostly because of my previous surgery. I know there are times and reasons etc for everything, but I guess I just have this feeling that God has this as part of my life. I know I can deal with it gracefully and maybe somehow affect others in the midst of it... but what I WANT to believe with all my heart is that He WILL HEAL ME!!! I will keep receiving prayer at every turn and will keep leaning on Him. I just soooo want to have the confidence to believe for a miracle... not just in word, but in my heart. I can believe it for everyone else... no problem. Why not me?
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2 comments:
I know what you mean. People often said things to me about believing that God would heal Evie, and I was always just like... well, they're gonna cut her open either way, so...?!? I think it boils down to the fact that I haven't seen much supernatural healing... so reconciling the stories I read in my Bible with what I have seen in my life is difficult to do. But I AM praying that you would be the one to provide an example of supernatural healing for me, and that the faith of those around you would grow!
Several years ago when I was dealing with what was suppose to be a minor surgery I had to learn to trust and I also had to learn that faith was a gift given to me not something I was able to manifest on my own. In the beginning of my ordeal I heard the Lord tell me "you will be alright, but not right away". I believed Him completely but as the days turned into weeks and the weeks to more than two months I began to wonder if I had heard from God at all. Then when it looked like I might not recover He said to me "I told you that you would be alright. What if you are not going to be healed?" to which I honestly replied "Tho you slay me, yet will I trust you." The next day after 6 surgries,and 30 nights in the hospital,several ambulance rides and 4 blood transfussions the doctor found the problem, corrected it and I went home-healed. It was a really hard time buy honestly I would not trade those hard days for any of other "good" days that I have ever known in my walk with the Lord. He was so close to me I could feel His breath.
I so know that God is a healer. I also know that our understanding of His ways are vey limited.I pray He will reveal Himself in exactly the way you need Him to.
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