I went into the supermarket the other day to get some soup and a banana for lunch. (Man do I need to go grocery shopping). As I was walking in I saw seasonal decorations, mums, some sort of smelly potpourri, and pumpkins... but wait... double take... the pumpkins were all painted.

Now, maybe I'm old fashioned, but isn't the fun part to get the pumpins and then painting or carving them out yourself? Please tell me parents aren't buying the pre-done Elmo pumpkin instead of painting their own.

Sigh.

I'd rather be reconciled than be right. (as long as it lines up with scripture)

People are not dispensable.

Guard your heart, but don't build walls to do so.

Love with all your heart and love the way you hope to be loved.

Honesty is healing. Openness cultivates honesty.

Summer

Along you came

With sunshine in your smile

Let’s live for the moment

Take one day at a time

Those longer days

You sidled up to me

I was comfortable there

In that warmth and safety

Before I could blink

No time to catch my breath

Your sunshine is gone

With the falling of leaves

An Introduction

I’d like to introduce you to my friend

There’s a lot to tell

Let’s start here:

I know a man

(He’s a poet)

With pen in hand

He says so much

You should read it!

This same man,

(A soulful one)

Likes Coldplay and Coletrane

The Word of God and Mark Twain

You should meet him!

This man I know

(A gentle one)

Treats ladies with respect

And children with love

He impresses me.

The merry gentleman

(He’s a fine one)
likes apple pie

Night walks in July

He showed me My Fair Lady!

This friend of mine

(He’s a good one)

Enriching life

In so many ways

I’m so thankful.

Let me introduce you to my friend

There’s a lot to know.

Let’s start here.

I''m soaking you up
oh day of rest
of sun and light
of dog and couch

I'm letting you in
you hopeful song
I've cried. I've cheered
You've moved me.

I raise my glass
to this afternoon
no thinking ahead
or longing today

I'm soaking you up
you day of rest
you've been a long time coming.

Thoughts on Walls

With relationships, there are always going to be walls/veils/fences to knock down, climb over, crawl under, lift up. Both yours and theirs! Love is that decision you make every time you come to one of these. It's you deciding it's worth it to press through...or wait until they are ready for you to.

Body or Machine

This morning I was thinking about the body... people... family...specifically in relation to a ministry/business that has been close to my heart. I was ... well... showering this morning and I was trying to gather my scattered and confusing thoughts.

My conclusion was that I don't want to and was not made to be part of a machine. We are a created body. God designed us to be so. We need each other. When "we" become a machine... it is a man made monstrosity. When we think we can just unscrew the knee joint or detach the arm or spleen we are sadly mistaken. As a body we will bleed.

I like to watch this life take shape.
seeing what comes back around
those damn boxes we create
broken down, we break them down

Its fun to watch the puzzle form
pieces gathered one by one
the holes will one day all be filled
when it's done, yes when we're done.

Dog Sitting

just you and me kid
sacked out on the floor
wandrin' round the town
taking in the smells
no care in the world
just you and me kid
yeah, just you and me

just you and me dude
spooning on the bed
patio breakfast
chomping on our ice
no care in the world
just you and me dude
yeah, just you and me

On the roof

I breathe it in
the air
the city
here on my roof

They took a chance
to dream
to love
here on my roof

He held her gaze
her hand
her heart
here on my roof

A sunny day
a breeze
a book
here on my roof

A breezy night
a laugh
a nod
here on my roof

Come find me here
come sit
come stay
here on my roof

A Bad Dream

I've been having some stress related dreams lately... and not getting the best nights of sleep.

Last night I had 2 nightmare-ish dreams. One between midnight and 3:00 am, the other after 4:00 am. The first one I can't remember very well. The second one is very vivid.

I was parking my car on my block in the city. A car pulled up trying to park and I noticed that the space in front of me wasn't big enough so I backed up and motioned for them to come in. Then 3 guys jumped out of their car and into mine... basically attacking me. The one sat on top of me. Somehow I was in the passenger seat... dreams are weird. Anyway, they were being really mean and awful and the one guy said he has had to listen to me and my friends laughter outside of his apartment for too long and he's not going to take it anymore. The next thing I remember was being out of the car on the street and somehow either pushing or punching the one guy so hard he smashed his head on the sidewalk... and died. I don't know what happened to the other guys and don't remember much of the rest of the dream.

When I woke up this morning, the first thought that came to me was I am not going to let anybody steal my joy.

If I could fly

I posted a question on my facebook last night asking "if you had a plane and access to go anywhere where would you go and what would be your motivation?". This came from my thoughts yesterday about wanting to be in so many places.

I wanted to be home in VT with my family.

I wanted to be in North Carolina with my friend Karen.

I wanted to be in Ethiopia visiting Senait, visiting my friend Yoseph and encouraging some of the Compassion staff there. Learning more about the beautiful people and culture.

My motivation: seeing people I love

When I have the chance for vacation, I almost always go home to VT... even though there are places within a half days drive from here like Washington DC that I haven't been yet and really do want to tour ... I am so much more motivated to be with the people I love that it's not even really an option. While I'm home, I don't do much besides spend time with my family and key friends.

There are places in the world that I want to go and see like Ireland, Australia, Kenya, etc... but I know I'd be inclined to go back to Ethiopia first ... because my heart is already there with the people.

I'm going to Haiti in October. I've been motivated to go there since before the earthquake... I wanted to go visit/help my friends who live there. Then after the earthquake felt a longing to go and knew there was so much to be done and I am a willing candidate. I know, too, that once I go my motivation will go past my friends and their family into others that I meet. I'm quite sure I'll leave some of my heart there, too and find many more people to love.

As much as my motivation to go places is based on love and people... I need to also be motivated by obedience to God. Which, really, obedience goes hand in hand with love ... and will help me not to miss loving more amazing people across the street or across the globe.

Unity

I got the quote below from our recent prayer focus at Gateway. We were praying for unity in the regional church.

"we are better together and in agreement instead of individual and divided"

Unity: it's needed in teams, our bodies, with dance partners, the church... This is true in so many areas of life. I can't run or dance without my foot in agreement with my body, I can't do my job without my team, and for Christians we don't represent our God well when "the body" is fractured.

For unity to work we have to be going in the same direction. I want to be united with those going in the direction that is pointed toward Love.

Eyes Open/Eyes Shut

I'm sitting in the wifi hot spot here at Sandy Cove while the couples are in their session. I'm helping with worship at a Couple's retreat. I love it because I get the perfect mix of being involved in the worship services and having my own free time. Plus I'm here with Aaron and Sherri and get to spend some time with Stephen and Beth, too.

I got up early enough this morning to catch a picture of the view from my room of "the cove" out here... a beautiful icy sunrise. Right now I'm sitting in front of a wall of windows and looking out on the dock, and can see the line where the ice turns into open water. Just gorgeous. I was thinking about how I'm glad my eyes were open early enough today to catch the sunrise ... and that they are open now; even as I'm typing not even looking at my computer screen.

I love being on worship teams. I have a passion for music and singing. I believe that God is worthy of every ounce of glory, honor and praise we can give and when we raise our voices together I think He finds pleasure in it. When I'm singing, I close my eyes. When I worship, I see better with my eyes shut. I'm just sitting here thinking about what it means to see... the beautiful scenery is appealing to the eyes, but I think it takes more than just eyes to appreciate it. I know that although I can't literally see God when I sing to Him, by closing my eyes and focusing my heart I somehow CAN see Him better.

inspired

I'm learning by experience that the more time I spend reading The Bible and in God's presence ... the more creative I am in my writing and singing.

Yup. No surprise that the creator of the universe inspires me to be more creative. Sometimes I just need to be reminded.

Fire in the Neighborhood

There was a major fire in the arts district at local landmark and vintage store, Zap and Co last night. The store is just 2 blocks from my house and was such a treasure. I'm concerned for Rachel's Creperie that neighbored Zap and Co... hopefully they can recover quickly from any smoke and water damage. And, of course, I'm thinking of those in homes and apartments that were affected.

It definitely was too close for comfort, for sure. I walked down twice last night to see and it was surreal to see my neighborhood looking like that. I took a couple of pictures with my phone... I'm thankful for the people who were out there serving the community on the fire, rescue, police and other logistical crew.

Life is short... what a reminder. Yesterday I was thinking about how time flies ... this brings it to an even more serious perspective.

Last night I was looking through a recent journal. It was full of creative doodles, sermon notes scribbled excitedly, my own lyrics and poetry... some of it was actually quite good. Most of it was written during times of prayer or reflection with God. I realized I haven't created on that level in quite some time.

Our church has set aside the first few weeks of the year to devote to God. Last week was the time I chose to do some fasting, praying, be more intentional about getting deeper into scripture. It was quite a week. I had some very obvious struggles on day 1... major car issues, family health issues, etc. As the week went on, I saw the struggles become less obvious externally but more difficult internally... issues of pride, recognizing how I have not been nourishing my soul well, etc. God is so good to show me these things. As the week went on I saw blessings and very obvious answers to prayer. I was also waking up in the middle of the night with songs in my heart ... and they were staying there. It was great. That was just last week. Yesterday I almost wanted to start fasting again, just to get my heart back in such a focused state.

Honestly, it doesn't take long for me to get distracted. I didn't make any resolutions going into 2011, but my sincere desire is to be healthy and consistent. To be filling my soul, body and mind with good things so that I am in that place where songs and creativity is pouring out of me on a regular basis. I am happy that in a lot of ways I have maintained a certain level of health, but I'm ready for more growth and more fruit in my life.